December 7

A full day. Tomorrow's a holiday and so several of my colleagues aren't coming in today as well, leaving the rest of us with their workload. Kind of makes for a more relaxed atmosphere, though. Der Chef and Alpha Female aren't in today as well. Morning staff meeting offered everyone the chance to use two chairs (one for your feet, except Austrian decorum would never allow for that).

Only one  new patient came in over the weekend. The saddest of all sad things to observe: A despondent Italian. Lots of tears and paper tissues. No O Sole Mio, no spaghetti carbonara, no Firenze, Milano, Roma, e Napoli. No Luciano Pavarotti, Andrea Celentano, prosciutto di Parma ... just lots of tears and wailing. Oh, it's all so sad. Signore M., way past middle age, the former owner of several of the finest Italian restaurants in town. Many colorful guests ... politicians, actors, movie stars, automobile champions. Now, just tears and more tears. E molto terribile. No, he doesn't want to go spend time at a  mental health resort to regain his emotional stamina, he just wants to be able to calm down here at the clinic and also be around la famiglia, his beautiful wife, his so very handsome and successful son, his intelligent and absolutely gorgeous daughter with a law degree, the brothers and nephews who are now doing so well after having switched over from Italian cooking to car selling ... mangiare e macchine. Santa Maria! How could he possibly leave them?

Yet he won't go to Italy for Christmas. Too much stress. La famiglia down there is way too much for his nervous system. He just wants peace and quiet at the suicide clinic so he won't want to commit suicide anymore. But why does he want to do himself in in the first place?

H., the psychiatrist and I, who are assigned to the case, are somewhat puzzled. This guy shouldn't even be here. Santa Maria! We consult with our colleague, R. "Oh, Signore M. is back!!!!" R. knows Signore M. He's been in before. He was shipped over from the closed ward and the forensic ward after some serious violence issues. But now? I have a spontaneous hunch. This guy is seeking protection. Female intuition? Or have I been hanging around this place for too long already and I should check out the ICD to diagnose myself?

So, R. fills us in about Signore M.'s case history from his last stay.
The beautiful wife, Signora M., she IS beautiful, unlike hubby. And he beats her in fits of jealousy.
The so very handsome and successful son -- not much in control of his Italian temper as well. Not on good terms at all with Papa. In kahutz with Mama. Wanted to keep Papa in the closed ward last time. Threatened the clinic staff.
The intelligent and absolutely gorgeous daughter with a law degree: Keeps herself completely aloof from everything. Didn't come in once last time to visit Papa.

What happened to the famous restaurant? The car-selling nephews? "Don't ask me", R. says. "I don't even want to know. Last time I talked to one of Signore M.s relatives the dude said that things were going to be settled the Italian way." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more.

There is truth to the old adage that goes: People ALWAYS lie to their priest, their lawyer, and their psychotherapist.

Santa Maria!!!